Summary: Harry find Draco in the dead battlefield and tries to put the boy's broken pieces back together... until something enxpected happens. Post-Voldemort, slash, twist.
Love Is About You
Rubbing your tear stained eyes
The sadness in your eyes seem sadder
It hurts me to see you like this,
Yet I don't know how to comfort you
Harry picked the heap of himself from the bloodstained ground. Just a moment ago, he had killed the Dark Lord. Just a moment ago, he was barely strong enough to have cast the Avada Kedavra curse right at Voldemort’s chest. Just a moment ago, he was almost at the brink of his death.
But here he was, hardly able to stand upright. He kept himself standing, still dazed from the event that took place right where he stood. He looked down and stared at the lifeless body the Dark Lord once dwelled in.
The corpse didn’t look too different from when it was… alive. Its face still had the pale snake-like features. It looked no different that Harry could feel a tinge of fear crawl up his spine. What if the body opened its eyes…?
Turning away, and pushing the disturbing thoughts out of his mind, he started strolling the battlefield, his gaze tearing through the musty fog. Dawn…?, he thought, as his eyes watched the sky, seeing pink and purple coloring the vastness. So unlike the place down below. He brought his watching to the ground this time. There were hundreds… no, thousands of bodies lying around. Some, Harry could faintly recognize, the others, he didn’t have a clue.
There was no sign of life. Could be that no one wanted to move, afraid that the silence they were hearing was the start of life with deafness. Maybe they didn’t want to disrupt the morbid peace surrounding each and every bruised, wounded, battered body on the ground.
Then, as Harry walked, barely a few meters away from his old spot when he saw a faint, shaking figure of someone seated in the ground, back leaning at a wall’s ruin.
The first thing Harry thought of doing was taking his wand and making sure of his safety. He was weary, but it wasn’t a reason to let his guard down. Cagily, he walked over to the person, his footsteps making a light noise of splashing soil and water. What met his sight caught him unprepared…
It was Draco Malfoy, his former nemesis, who was shivering by the ruin. The boy didn’t even care to acknowledge his presence and just brushed his stream of tears away and continued looking out in space -- his clothes, torn everywhere, bloodstained and filthy. Every part of him was soiled except the streak of his face where his tears would flow.
Yet he was beautiful all the same.
The Gryffindor could do nothing but lower his wand and watch the other boy, who seemed to have noticed him now. The blonde turned to him and emptily looked away.
The gesture made Harry feel a shooting pain in his chest. It seemed so insignificant but at the same time, it hurt him more than what he had endured in the war altogether. It was unexplainable, so he didn’t care explain it to his questioning self. He knew what caused it. Two things, it was. One was guilt. He was supposed to save lives, and yet massive amounts of people died to protect him for him to be able to finish off Voldemort. But the war seemed to prove that though he’d killed the Dark Lord, still, many innocent lives had perished. That was the first reason for this twinge of pain. The second? Draco.
‘You stab me, do you know that?’
Harry swallowed the forming bile in his throat. He tried to say something, tried hard to think of something… anything to say. His mouth was gaping. He instantly closed it when no words came to mind.
Then, he saw the blonde shift. The boy pulled his knees to his chest, but besides that, no other movement was made. The tears were now left to drain down the edges of Draco’s face.
So badly did Harry want to comfort Draco. The longing to touch him, to hold him and tell him that finally, this is done was so strong, but Harry couldn’t trust himself to speak, so he just rubbed his forehead, feeling miserable for himself.
Draco, on the other hand, was more than willing to speak… this time, anyway. He didn’t look at Harry, nor did he shift, perhaps, except for his mouth.
You said the world is so cold
You wonder what is true emotion
You want to give up
Escape far away
“I killed him.”
The raven-haired boy raised his head from his hand and looked at the other thoughtfully. Somehow he had the faintest idea that…
“You killed Lucius?”, Harry said flatly.
Draco didn’t speak for a while, but replied later, “Yes.”
Though Draco looked rather calm outside, inside, he was burning. The moment he thrust the Malfoy family dagger through his father’s body, a fire within him burned. A monstrous desire to kill his father swallowed his soul, which led him to bathe his hands with the elder Malfoy’s blood.
It was a hidden desire since his first year. Actually, the hatred came in earlier and the desire came later. It came when his father hurt Narcissa, the only person who’d ever given him even an ounce of love. Ever since then, Draco harbored a concealed loathing and nobody knew. Nobody cared to ask anyway.
Along with the fire came the darkness. Narcissa has died with Lucius severe beatings, even before he could put Lucius to his demise. Lucius’ death was the least he could do for his mum… not that she ever asked for it. Now that his mum died, a new kind of fear filled his system. Who was going to love him now? Will he live without it? Can he live without it?
Answers were scarce and all he could do was sit and in a barely audible whisper, say, “He killed my…” Those few words were the last that left Draco’s calm lips when he started to break down and say in between heavy sobs, “…my mum!”
Draco’s crying echoed through the empty plains. He shivered even more, even if he did try to stop it by clenching his fists tightly.
Harry on the other hand quietly broke down his reserve. Never had he seen Draco like this. He wanted to do something, but he was dead clueless. He consoled himself by sitting beside the crying form of Draco on the slightly damp ground, but making sure that not a single part of them touch. He doubted he’d be able to hold the broken pieces and shards of himself together if he felt even a little brush of Draco’s skin.
Almost doubtingly, Harry said, “Draco… It’s done…”
‘But is it?’
After a moment of silence, the air still musky and heavy, Draco breathed weightily and said in a low whisper, “Why? Can… can someone tell me why? Why everything has to be like this? Why everything seems so… so… wrong to me?”
His voice, resonated for a while in the air, but vanished, nonetheless. Harry’s mind replayed it over and over and his nerves began to tingle. Then he felt himself in ire.
‘Don’t loose hope on me now!’
“We can start again. You can start again. Be strong and… Look, I know it’ll sound silly, but there’s something more out there for you. I know it, so… so…”
He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t have a reason… well, maybe he did. But that is best left unspoken… for now.
Draco bit his lip, tasting faintly the metallic taste of dried blood at the tip of his tongue.
“So what? Harry… I just want to die!”
Wounds, put them aside
Forget the past
Let me make a home for you
Silence once again reared its ugly head. Harry was, again, stumped, this time, with the blonde’s directness. It was like he was handling a finely made glass ball. If held too loosely, it’s sure to fall. If held even in careful firmness, then it’s bound to shatter.
‘Such a fragile treasure… Why do you want to die?’
“…It’s none of your business, leave it.”
The icy voice of Draco attempted to put a halt on the discussion, but Harry would have none of that. Not when things looks so dangerously close to the edge for Draco. And this is after he just dealt with the Dark Lord. He felt alive, though, plus, this was important.
He just wished Draco wouldn’t break.
“Then I’m making it my business! Don’t fool your self; you have to let it go! You can’t always hide like this!”
Harry didn’t mean to sound so brutal, but he was too driven to shut his mouth. The words just flew out by themselves without a single thought from him.
“Fine. If your sorry little brain needs me to tell you, then fine! I want to die because I am nothing! I am scum! Nobody needs me, nobody wants me. I should die and be left to rot. There. I’m taking it you’re happy now?”
Love is about you, love is about you
From the day we first met
Please don't weep, Please don't weep
You are to be cherished
‘But I do.’
What he was to do, Harry didn’t know. Sure, they had their share of fights, but nothing was quite like this. Before, it was just a childish brawl. Now, this was different.
Somewhere in his mind, he wanted so badly to let the blonde know how he truly felt for him. That he truly did fight for the wizarding folk, but that half of his drive came from Draco. That he didn’t want Draco to die because…
It was all so… ironic? So ironic that it couldn’t be right. Yet it did feel right. It was a confusing tangle of ribbons that however much he pulled and struggled, the knots would stay together. Then he thinks why he tried to untangle them, when they were beautiful just like that. It was so, very confusing…
And that was a very good explanation as to why he shouldn’t tell Draco about these… feelings.
“No. No, I’m not happy. How can I be happy to know that…”
Harry thought for a moment. How can I be happy to know that…? Oh no, this was not the right time to tell him anything to cause confusion.
He could feel Draco’s gaze at him, questioning and curious, despite his despair. This was good. Somehow, he was taking his pain away, even if it was just temporary.
Then, he continued, “…that someone would kill himself right after the defeat of Voldemort. I mean, we worked hard for this. Don’t you want to at least experience life without Voldemort?”
Draco raised an eyebrow at him then said, “My wanting to die has nothing to do with Voldemort, Potter, if you could remember… Though I think your brain won’t be able to sustain information for a while becaue you just defeated the Dark Lord and all.”
Harry sighed quietly, seeing that the old Draco was still fighting for dear life.
The Gryffindor smirked at the Slytherin and replied, “Hm… back to Potter are we not?”
Draco just rolled his eyes and sneered.
I only want to love you
Even if you don't want me to
I'll continue waiting patiently
Staying by your side to accompany you,
Watch over you
How long has it been? An hour? An hour and a half? Maybe two hours? Not one of them could tell, really. Not one of them moved. For the past, well, they didn’t know, they just sat there, watching the sunrise from the horizon. The sky turned from pink and purple to light blue and yellow. People they thought were dead started rising from the ground. It was nice to look at, in an eerie sort of way. Fortunately, not one deatheater was back to life. The battlefield suddenly grew life when people started calling out each other’s names, some running towards each other, some even kidding around as if they haven’t seen each other for years. In truth, that was how it felt.
For Harry, seeing people moving, alright and happy felt like something he’d lost years back. And it had only been 6 months of battle. Quite fast for a war, actually, but it was quick yet hard.
He turned to his side to see Draco, legs still crossed, knees tightly hugged, his chin resting on his arms. He was watching the people. He looked so peaceful, aside from being quite a bit pale. There was truly more to Draco than he let on. Harry could faintly trace a light smile on Draco. He was emanating contentment somehow.
Harry then worked up some courage and said, “Alive Draco. Everyone is. You should be happy you’re hear to see something like this.”
He watched as Draco finally smiled. It was genuine and true, though he felt a faint sense of… weakness in Draco…
“You’re right. Even if… the…” Draco breathed heavily and seemed to struggle, then he continued, “The one I love won’t be able to stay in the new place, I should be happy…”
The blonde was already on tears, and Harry could feel himself following. So Draco did love someone… could it be his mother, then? No… the look on his face…
Harry felt his heart break. Hell, he even heard the faint crackling sound resonate from his chest. The pain… it felt like a swelling in his chest that he can’t stop. Why didn’t he see this earlier?
That was it. Just when Draco was laughing his tears away, Harry’s started to fall.
Draco turned to the Gryffindor beside him and he felt his lip quiver again. His eyes burned again, he felt so weak again, felt his energy slip away again. Then his tears started falling again.
Before Draco could say anything more, Harry turned to him and laughed. Draco felt a shiver up his spine. This was somewhat alarming…
Harry got himself back together and said, “Hmm… I didn’t know you loved someone… A Slytherin girl? Oh, yeah, Pansy, right?”
The reply wasn’t expected when Harry heard Draco’s voice that said, “No, not a Slytherin… Gryffindor.”
The anticipation from Harry’s face melted away until it completely disappeared replaced with a questioning look. Then Draco said, “And not Pansy. He’s you, Harry.” Draco looked directly at Harry, his original position not changed, his head just tilted towards the other boy. Then he started to tear and cry again, wishing that the complications of what he would say would just disappear. “You’re the one I….”
Harry’s eyes widened. Draco loved him. Draco loved him. All that time he thought otherwise, Draco did love him.
“I… I love you, too… I… I just never said, but…”
Harry stopped mid sentence when he felt himself go light. Suddenly, all his pains disappeared. He felt as light as a feather.
He turned to Draco who was sobbing earnestly now. The blonde was furiously biting his lip, his fist clenched tight. Then, he said, “Goodbye… Harry… I…”
At this point, Harry was panicking. And the fact that Draco was starting to lose consciousness was going to drive him insane. He didn’t know what to do and didn’t dare touch Draco, in case Draco didn’t want him to. He watched as Draco stopped hugging his knees. His back fell towards the wall ruin, uncovering an overly large wound that bled profusely.
Harry doubted, by the looks of things, that Draco had any more blood left.
Then, Draco turned to him, still crying. “…I love… I’m sorry… I…”
“I love you to, Draco. I fought for you, everything! This is all for you! I… I just love you…”
That was when Harry leaned towards Draco, wanting to satisfy his hunger to touch his lover. He reached his hand towards the now dying boy, wanting to touch his pale, tear stained cheek, when the unimaginable happened.
His hand passed through the blonde’s face…
…And Draco now lay sat still, eyes closed, lips forming a blissful arc. Harry, now smiling himself, faded in the air with light that seemed to lead towards the sky…
‘I’ll be with you someday.’
My first post here... Oh yeah, if anyone wants to BETA for me... :}